Dear Evelyn,
Being 14 and oppressed is difficult and hard to break out of. The teenage angst you carried was executed in an extremist way. You went from a square to a broken circle. It's understandable to break under a parents pressure with your unawareness of the world around you, however, if you had taken small steps and had spoken to a councillor your life may have been completely different. Instead of being labeled as a hooker and a ex druggie you would have been a greater, pulitzer winning writer. Instead of running away, you could have ran into your parents and told them what was up.
Step one, Make your parents read your entries. Show your parents who you are and what you want to be. "but they wouldn't listen to me" Evelyn you're 14 years old, no one listens to a 14 year old because they're capable of making inconsiderate and self absorbed decisions such as running away. Ask yourself why on earth was your sister not as depressed as you. Did you not value yourself enough to come out of your bubble and try to make your parents understand like your sister, whom may I add, tried to help you out of running away and brought you a flower. She must have went through the same strict parenting as you did. She managed.
Step two, If step one failed and your sister was stronger than you, try to meet they're expectations and realize that all they were doing was looking out for your future. Its hard at 14 to figure out that no your parents are not the enemy, they are your guidance in the REAL world. You regretted running away and mentioned that your lack of grounding is due to your fathers lose of a job and his retreat from your relationship. Had you tried to communicate this. Being a writer, reading so many books as you claim, the first insightful solution would have been to speak to him and tell him that your relationship is very dear at heart to you. Infact its words liek these that are not spoken enough that lead to these akward problems of running away.
Step three, if your father refuses to hear you out, record a message and play it to him unexpectantly, something thatll catch his attention.
These solutions are naive in their own way. These are the thinkings of a soon to be 18 year old. You my dear have created a book that is sensational for people all around canada. Youve created the book that you can hand to any person who has started to take drugs to read and they will stop ater reading your struggle and realizing that the world is tough. Dreams are sometimes illusions and your big ideals are harder to create if you don't have a foot in the door already. That the food bank is hard to go throguh, that running away means depending on peopel and trusting them making yourself vulnerable to their needs as well.
Being on the street means physical attraction first and contact before emotional contact. It means the possibility of losing yourself ot herion and to methadone. It means falling for the wrong men, Larry, who offered you everything and destroyed everything in a flick of a switch, and Simon who again offered to be somethign of a pimp and offered you the best.
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